Aren’t you getting married soon?
Og alt mamma og jeg burde ha snakket om i stedet
A powerful new societal portrait from one of the authors of Shameless.
With the publication of her first book, Shameless, in 2017, Nancy Herz became a lauded voice in Norwegian public discourse. But there were also critics who believed Herz was wrong raise her voice – her own mother among them.
Why does Nancy’s mother judge her so harshly? How many times a day is it possible to ask someone whether marriage is on the cards? And what is it like to raise a child in which one doesn’t see oneself?
In this book, Herz enters into a dialogue with her mother. Through personal and difficult discussions they begin to unravel Nancy’s mother’s story, and try to understand why their relationship has become so turbulent and deadlocked. Because is it possible to inspire young girls to break familial bonds and friendships in order to achieve freedom and respect – and still long for reconciliation at home?
“Aren’t you getting married soon? is a good space to be in. It’s an unpolished, imperfect conversation, associative and unedited, as conversations often are. Its frankness is liberating in itself. There are more than enough insights to be gained here for those who choose to be the fly on the wall as mother and daughter are clearing the air in the smoke-filled conservatory.”
“Genuinely moving on shame.
Nancy’s mum will probably never stop insisting that her daughter – who lives with her partner – will have to get married sooner or later, for the sake of honour, the family and her mother. Nancy is just as unlikely to be pushed in it. As such, this book could be an effective lesson for parents and children who are doing the splits between two cultures.”
“Aren’t you getting married soon? is a well-written book by a young and courageous author with the potential to speak not only to her own mother, but to the nation as a whole.”
Aftenposten, 5/6 stars
“Can the mother-daughter relationship be rescued with six days of straight talk?
A resolute daughter interviews a mother who is unwilling to speak. The result is a moving and enlightening tale of war and exile.”
“The bravest writer of the year?
Nancy Herz continues her commitment against negative social control by using the explosive power of her relationship with her own mother in an almost perfect publication. (...) Aren’t you getting married soon? is a direct call to young people and young adults who are fighting similar fights to Herz. The oral and descriptive style works well for this target group. Herz and her mother’s personal experiences are translated into language just as vivid, albeit somewhat repetitive, driving the reader forward.”
Stavanger Aftenblad, 5/6 stars