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Publication year: 2020
264 pages
1. edition

«I had never really imagined I would tell the whole story. A lot of what I’m going to say is embarrassing, and I feel a terrible sense of shame. Some of it is secret. Secrets our family has never spoken about. But now I think: What the hell. My façade has fallen.

If there is to be any point in this book at all, now, after everything I’ve been through and while I’m still here, I might as well say it all. Everything I’ve been afraid of, everything I’ve been ashamed of, every regret, everything I have wanted to hide from others – all of it becomes trivial in the face of death. »


“We are left with a profound sympathy and a genuine love for this extremely generous, warm, boundlessly funny, intelligent and fragile human who, by way of an uncommon spirit in recent years, has shown what cancer and powerful medicine do to us. This is my book of the year.” Dagbladet, 6 out of 6 stars

“…amidst the maelstrom, this is a book of remembrance, plaintive and beautiful.” VG

“The voice in the book is Koht’s, but Førsund’s dialogical and oral form renders Christine Koht’s starkly personal account so vividly that the conversation reads as though it was never written down on paper. Read, hear and see!” Tønsbergs Blad, 5 out of 6 stars